What helps me keep a toe on the ground is to remember we each experience joy a different way. Not joy like that felt when someone hands you a thousand dollars "just because" but rather joy that is felt because we are alive, and small things like tasty tomatoes can remind us how alive we are and how delicious life is.
I open the refrigerator and gaze with exasperation ... there are three small containers and each holds beneath its little plastic lid half a tomato.
My mentally handicapped auntie says, "I forgot", when I ask for a rational explanation as to why we need to have 3 halves of tomatoes in 3 separate little containers in the fridge. My auntie rolls her eyes back in her head while jutting her jaw forward to deliver an explanation summing up why she "forgot" which is her one word that sums up her reasoning - as I watch and listen, I remind myself to celebrate. I remind myself to see those tomatoes through the eyes of joy and celebrate their presence in our refrigerator. I celebrate and give thanks for those ripe with redness tomatoes that I know my mom and my auntie revel in so much. I celebrate that I have my mom and my auntie to remind me to be thankful for the little things in life, like forgotten halves of tomatoes, and to learn to give up my unrealistic need for control.
My mother is in her late 80's is blind from cataracts, and physically handicapped by a body that is weathered by too many years of obesity and lack of activity. My aunt is mentally handicapped because of an accident while riding a horse when she was 6. My aunt loves horses to this day and has no fear about getting on one even though it was a horse that ran her little body into a clothesline and nearly killed her. I am grateful for my auntie's presence in my home and for her survival after such a horrid accident. Both my mom and my auntie love tomatoes. Tomatoes are one of those small pleasures they have in life. Who am I to question 3 tomato halves? Who am I to dictate how pleasure is served even if forgotten for a brief time in the refrigerator?
As I gaze at my auntie and her little chin attached to a face that has seen way too much hardship, I remind myself that trying to control tomatoes is just not worth my time or energy! Instead, I choose to celebrate the joy that is found in those tomatoes, in 3 separate containers, in the refrigerator - each tomato is a beautiful gift of opportunity. I accept the gift to celebrate joy, and to appreciate that joy is all subjective and we should all respect one another's joyful tasty moments in life.
I am wishing us all the ability to recognize our opportunities to be joyful and to celebrate those moments. We choose how to see and experience life and we can choose to see either chaos or we can choose to see joy. We can choose to become upset and feel like we don't have any control or we can choose to "let it go" and see the gift of life, of love, of hope, ... may you be blessed as I am.
Heartfelt Hugs,
Ms. M
